If you’re going through a divorce or even considering divorce as an option, you know it’s not easy. And if your goal is to move on with your life, delays in your divorce proceedings can add stress, anxiety and frustration to an already difficult situation.
Whether you’re in the thick of the process or just starting out, there are a few common mistakes you should be sure to avoid if you’re looking for a smoother, more expedient divorce.
Signing a legal agreement (of any kind) without discussing it with your attorney
When you’re going through a divorce, a lot can ride on your signature. That’s why it’s so important to make sure any legal documents you sign have been discussed with a trusted legal professional. Your attorney is there to make sure your rights and goals are protected, so be sure you’re taking advantage of that expertise.
Taking legal advice from your “friends”
So your friend in spin class gave you some advice about your divorce proceedings. Great, right? Well, not so much. Divorce is a very personal thing, and no two situations are alike.
Even if your friends have your best interest at heart, without knowing the situation and having the legal expertise necessary to truly understand the process, even your closest loved ones cannot offer you the sage wisdom they might think they’re giving.
You likely wouldn’t ask anyone but a real estate professional about the value of your home, so give the same scrutiny to the people from whom you receive legal advice. A no brainer to avoid common divorce mistakes.
“Venting” about your ex in front of your kids
If you’re getting divorced, you obviously have differences with your ex. That said, if you have kids, it’s time to take the high road and keep your frustrations, anger and resentment under wraps — at least in front of the kids.
Badmouthing your kids’ other parent can make them feel confused, sad, insecure and even guilty. Divorce is hard enough on kids; don’t make it worse by talking poorly about someone they love.
Keeping your feelings to yourself
While you shouldn’t be griping about your ex in front of your kids, if you have strong feelings about your divorce or your divorce proceedings, it’s very important to share these with your attorney.
Allowing guilt and fear to dictate the divorce process will only make things worse. Be sure you and your attorney are clear on your true feelings, desires and goals before negotiations start.
Make post-divorce plans
Your divorce will undoubtedly be stressful. But during this difficult time, you also need to start thinking about the future.
You have a lot of decisions to make, from where you’ll be living post-divorce to where you’ll be working, where the kids will attend school and how you’ll structure your retirement or other financial plans going forward.
Try not to be so wrapped up in the present that you forget you have your whole future ahead of you to avoid common divorce mistakes.
Keeping things from the kids
Common divorce mistakes as a parent, you want nothing more than to protect your kids from pain, anxiety and worry. That said, if your kids don’t know what’s going on with your divorce, chances are it’ll be all the worse when they inevitably find out, which is a common divorce mistakes.
Make time to talk to your kids about what’s going on — preferably with your ex, if possible — and let them know that it’s okay to talk about the divorce, ask questions and express their emotions.
Divorce is tough and can cause many common divorce mistakes, and it’s only natural to want to expedite the process and get on with your life. But if you think your divorce is going to be done and settled in no time flat, you’re going to end up feeling frustrated down the line.
Be realistic about the timing of divorce; depending your unique situation, the timetable could be longer than you’d like. Talk to your attorney about your timing so you can establish realistic expectations from the start.
Going through a divorce? We can help ensure you don’t make critical mistakes that could complicate the process. Give us a call today.